The following is a public service message for women hoping to better understand men.

| | Comments (6) | TrackBacks (0)

Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the Car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long After hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running Very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the Engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to The other, “I used to be able to fix these things, But now with all these computers and Everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink a couple of beers and break Wind, as a form of holy communion.

Because I’m a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take Care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You’re a woman. You never get as sick As I do, so for you, this is no problem.

Because I’m a man, I can be relied Upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, Like milk or bread. I cannot be expected To find exotic items like “cumin” or “tofu.” For all I know, these are the same thing…

Because I’m a man, when one of our Appliances stops working, I will insist on taking It apart, despite evidence that this will just cost Me twice as much once the repair person Gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I’m a man, I must hold the Television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it, Though one time I was able to survive by Holding a calculator instead (applies to engineers only).

Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask Me what I’m thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, sex, guns, sex, Sports or sex. I have to make up something Else when you ask, so just don’t ask.

Because I’m a man, you don’t have to Ask me if I liked the movie. Chances Are, if you’re crying at the end of it, I didn’t… And if you are Feeling amorous afterwards … Then I will certainly at least remember the Name and recommend it to others.

Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing Is fine. I thought what you were wearing five Minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of Shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, Looks fine. It does not make your ass look Too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and Margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I’m a man, and this is, after all, The year 2009, I will share equally in the Housework. You just do the laundry, the Cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, And the dishes, and I’ll do the rest. Like Wandering around in the garden with a Beer, wondering what to do.

This has been a public service message for women hoping to better understand men.

Thanks to my friend, Terry, who sent this to me.

0 TrackBacks

Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: The following is a public service message for women hoping to better understand men..

TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.thedonovan.com/cgi-bin/mt41/mt-tb.fcgi/10020

6 Comments

Because I’m a man, when I lock my keys in the Car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long After hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.

And I will. And have. And no, I won’t wear a coat, either.

Because I’m a man, when the car isn’t running Very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the Engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to The other, “I used to be able to fix these things, But now with all these computers and Everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink a couple of beers and break Wind, as a form of holy communion.

I’m this guy: “I used to be able to fix these things, But now with all these computers and Everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.”

Because I’m a man, there is no need to ask Me what I’m thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, guns, sex, guns, sex, food or sex. I have to make up something Else when you ask, so just don’t ask.

I had to modify that one a bit for accuracy.

Because I’m a man, I think what you’re wearing Is fine. I thought what you were wearing five Minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of Shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, Looks fine. It does not make your ass look Too big. It was the pasta and potatoes and Margaritas that did that. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Can I get an “Amen!” brothers?

I would, but SWWBO’s got a mean glare, Armorer. I know who has the real power ‘round here. ;)

Because I am a woman, you can’t expect me to EVER read and digest anything so complex as the Quick Start Guide for an electric can opener. You know, the one that says, “Step one, plug it into the wall, step two, insert a can in the marked area and the opener will start it’s opening cycle and complete it without ANY further interference from a human.”

Because I’m a woman, I will never understand why driving a 1” brad into the sheetrock wall will eventually let that 7-pound picture hung on it crash to the floor, nor will I understand why my husband has to make a trip to Home Depot and buy those plastic screw-anchors that say “50 pounds” on them to put in place of my brads.

Because I’m a woman, you can’t possibly expect me to check the oil level in that 10-year old car you make me drive, just because I never go farther than the Village. I CAN understand why you felt somewhat miffed when the engine burned up from lack of lubrication, though. You should be miffed, wasn’t it YOUR job to check the oil level in MY car?

I could go on….

Bug report: this is the second time tonight I have had a comment delete the paragraph liniation so that the entire comment appears a one giant mass of words. (Liniation)

The first one I sent to Argghhh! on my PDA, which runs WIN Mobile 6.0, and the second to this site from my laptop, which is running WIN XP, SP3, fully patched, with Firefox 3.0.5. (Liniation)

Methinks that there is a problem in the Electric Empire of thedonovan.com

Thanks, Rivrdog- I’ll let John know, I have no idea how this version of MT works, John has a web guy.

Feh. Damn ex-Air Force weenie trouble-makers.

Leave a comment

Help Beth feed all those chickens via PayPal!

I Took The Handmade Pledge! BuyHandmade.org

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Beth published on February 3, 2009 8:46 AM.

If your only access to the Internet is via Satellite, blogging can suck. was the previous entry in this blog.

I call bullshit is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

March 2012

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Technorati Profile

Technorati

Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

Powered by Movable Type 4.12

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Beth published on February 3, 2009 8:46 AM.

If your only access to the Internet is via Satellite, blogging can suck. was the previous entry in this blog.

I call bullshit is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.


Beth
CTG
EM
Jane
Stacy
Tammy
Carol
Joy
Michele
Wendy